Journaling is not something that comes easily for me. You might even say it’s a struggle. I’m a bona fide “journal quitter”. I’ve bought, started, and quit more journals than I can count. It may come as a surprise but I’m actually a very shy and private person, not at all comfortable spending too much time on the “inside”. I’m full of self-doubt, constantly questioning myself. Besides, who wants to bare one’s soul on PAPER?!? And why pour more words into a world that is already drowning in opinion and commentary? Journaling’s a practice that requires commitment, discipline and time. And I have an issue with that “time” thing. However, what I’ve come to learn is the practice of journaling for oneself - especially longhand, pen or pencil on paper - is a powerful personal tool for lighting up the mind in ways that can bring calm and clarity into a noise-filled existence. It’s a different kind of meditation. One where you let words flow out and onto a page rather than observe them passing by.
Not so many weeks ago, I celebrated a birthday. Squarely in my fifth decade and I’m well aware of the blessings in my life, which are too many to count. And, yet, perhaps it’s my perceived heaviness of the world, but I find myself searching for something more. A deeper connection to….what? Nature? Always. Spirit? Constantly. Self? There it is.
You may have heard of Julia Cameron? Julia’s a prolific, well published writer who’s written volumes on the art of becoming - and being - an artist. Through her universally celebrated series ‘The Artists Way’ (St. Martin’s Publishing, NYC), she’s enlivened and enriched the creative journey of countless artists and creatives (and we’re ALL artists and creatives!) throughout the world. So, as a birthday present for myself, I picked up a copy of her latest, ‘Living the Artist’s Way’ and was not at all prepared for what I discovered. Within the pages of this deceptively compact book, Julia devotes herself to exploring and emphasizing the importance and power of guidance and how we can tap into it in our daily lives. Guidance is one of the four essential tools described in her seminal book, ‘The Artist’s Way’. In ‘Living…’, she teaches us how to use journaling, or “Morning Pages”, to tap into a higher source of wisdom than we ordinarily encounter. Guidance.
It might sound “woo woo” and I admit that my own eyebrows shot up when I first began reading. But something told me to stick with it. To keep reading.
I’ll let you in on a secret: I actually love writing. Those who know me well know that I love reading and the written word. Through the years, I’ve been given scores of journals of all shapes and sizes and have bought many for myself. There’s just something about the promise of them. Oh, the possibilities! I guess you can say I collect them, which is weird because I don’t collect anything. And, yet, I can’t seem to let them go. And each and every one (except for one, more on that at another time) are unused. Blank. Empty!
So, “thanks, Julia!”, you’ve ruined a perfectly uninterrupted streak of journal avoidance and now I must write! By the time I finished the third chapter I was hooked. To celebrate, I rushed out and bought - you guessed it! - a new journal. A sunshiny, bright yellow book of equally terrifying and inviting blank pages. As of this morning, I’m proud to share that I’ve finished Day 07 of my ‘Morning Pages’ journaling - including asking for guidance, which is an essential part of this written exercise.
Now, the deeper connection that I was yearning for is manifesting. Day by day. Page by page. After a year of growth and modest success, I promised myself that 2024 is going to be the year of self-discovery, of refining my studio practice and honing my skills to bring forward better work for you and for myself. There will be pain along the way and failure, too. There always is. But what I’ve learnt so far - seven days in - is that so many of the road blocks I face in my art practice and in my life are self-created. And that those things that prevent me from feelings of connection - of moving forward in certain areas of my life - are an illusion.
It’s a journey. Everything is. But because journaling is a journey of self-discovery, there are hidden treasures of wisdom and guidance just waiting to be revealed. If you’re a journal devotee, you know exactly what I’m saying. But if, like me, you’ve wanted to and haven’t for whatever reason, I implore you to give it a try. It can lead to insights and wisdom that you never knew you had. And if I can break the habit of being a ‘journal quitter’ and become a journal adventurer, so can you. It may just be the gust of wind you’ve been waiting for.